Case study
How V. Moved from Daily Tension and Fight-or-Flight to Embodied Self-Regulation
I became more aware of how my body reacts to certain situations. I learned to let the emotion just be there without judging it. Now I'm at ease.
The Client
I dedicate a few low-cost and pro bono spaces in my coaching practice because the people who most often need this work don't have the resources to access it. And healing needs to be available when someone's ready, not just when they can afford it.
V. took a brave step in reaching out to apply for one of those limited spots. She'd never done therapy, coaching, or bodywork before.
The Challenge: Living in a Body That Wouldn't Settle
Daily calf tension that accumulated throughout the day - only easing when she walked peacefully or talked to someone while walking. Otherwise, the discomfort built and stayed.
Shoulder tension that crept up to her neck. Back pain from prolonged work.
Her goal was clear: "Release the tension and stress stored in my body, cultivate the ability to manage my emotions, and move beyond the fight-or-flight response."
But here's what V. was about to discover: you can't think your way out of what's stored in your body.
"I struggle with both fight and flight," she told me before we began.
What she was describing was a nervous system that had never learned it was safe to settle.
V. had been trying to manage this on her own - walking to ease the tension, stretching, willing herself to relax. But the activation always came back. Because the dysregulation wasn't in her muscles. It was in her nervous system.
The Work: Two Nervous Systems Meeting
Over 6 months, we worked together. Some sessions were deeply somatic: tracking sensations, working with activation, learning to pendulate between calm and activation.
Others involved psychoeducation: understanding how the nervous system stores trauma, why her body responds the way it does, where emotions live in the body.
We also did a lot of cognitive coaching around:
Self-worth. Rest as an essential, not an optional, part of a "productive" life.
Her actual role as a parent - which was not to provide all the material goods and Instagram-worthy experiences, but to be the stable rock. To be the presence that would help heal generations and reverberate forward, breaking the trauma cycles around productivity, worth, and success.
This is the work beneath the work
The nervous system can't settle when you believe your worth is tied to what you produce or provide. When rest feels dangerous. When being present feels like it's not enough.
More than teaching and practicing techniques, somatic experiencing-based coaching is about V.'s nervous system meeting mine - co-regulating while hers learned it could exist outside of survival mode, while she learned a different way of being human.
What The Work Looked Like
Building awareness of what was actually happening in her body. Not analysing or fixing it, but just noticing. V. started tracking sensations, recognising when her nervous system was ramping up, learning the difference between tension and activation.
Establishing safety, again and again. When your nervous system detects threat (neuroception), your brainstem takes over. You're in survival mode—fight, flight, freeze, or appease. In that state, the parts of your brain that can process and integrate experience aren't accessible.
We had to work within V.'s window of tolerance - that zone where her nervous system could engage with the work without flipping into protection mode. This window expanded over time, but we couldn't rush it.
Resourcing and pendulation. Teaching V.'s nervous system that it could toggle between activation and calm. That it didn't have to stay stuck in one state.
This is where she discovered that movement releases what's stored in the body - something she initially wasn't aware of.
Unlearning the narratives that kept her stuck. V. came to realise that rest isn't lazy, that her worth isn't tied to her productivity. By the end of our time together, she felt that being present was and is enough.
These shifts happened somatically and cognitively over time, showing beautifully how the body and the mind learn together when given the right conditions.
The Results: A Nervous System
That Can Settle
V. stopped analysing her emotions and started allowing them:
"Now I'm at ease. When an emotion comes up, I don't sit and analyse it. When I allow it to be, it eventually passes through me. The ones that stay, I choose to get curious with."
V. developed body awareness she didn't have before:
"I became more aware of how my body reacts to certain situations."
V. identified her patterns and triggers—somatically, not just intellectually:
"It helped me identify the patterns and triggers."
V. established practices that work for her:
- Grounding throughout the day, engaging her feet with the earth
- Long gazing in the morning (15-30 seconds, still building)
- Self-hugging and patting as acts of self-soothing
- Understanding that movement releases stored trauma
- V. learned her body had intelligence she'd been ignoring.
What V. Said About the Coaching
When I asked what made the biggest difference:
"Consistency. I had time to reflect and ponder, and I could ask you my doubts, like where is joy stored in the body?"
When I asked if she'd recommend this work:
“I would recommend you for your kindness. Trauma doesn't discriminate, it can haunt anyone. What you are doing matters, and I wish more people could have the chance to work with you.”
What SE-Informed Somatic Coaching Does
It teaches your body you're not in danger anymore.
Not through thinking about it or analysing it, but through felt experience - slowly, in your own time, with someone who can hold steady while your nervous system learns something new.
V.'s journey took 6 months of consistent work. Yours might be different. Some people need sporadic support. Others may need years of support.
But one thing is clear: healing isn't linear, and your nervous system gets to set the pace.
If you're stuck in fight-or-flight, freeze or fawn, and tired of white-knuckling your way through,
Frequently Asked Questions
It's impossible to say upfront - it depends on what you're working with and what feels right for you.
Most people find that 4-6 sessions gives enough time to build nervous system capacity and start noticing shifts, but some people need more and some need less.
We'll check in regularly about what's serving you, and you're free to pause or stop whenever you need to.
Only if and when you want to. Somatic Experiencing informed coaching works with what's happening in your body now, not with rehashing your history.
That's incredibly common, especially if you've been in survival mode. We'll work with exactly that - the numbness, the disconnection, wherever you are.
No. I'm not a therapist, and we're not doing psychotherapy. Instead, we're working with your body and nervous system, not diagnosing or treating mental health conditions.
Testimonials From
Lovely Humans
Ry Schwartz
Launch Consultant, Author and Lead Coach at Empire Engineering For Coaches, Consultants, and Course Creators
Sara Sheriff
Artist, Doll-Maker and Founder of Wildwood Maker
And take the next smallest step towards finally getting my message across.
She is so majestic at seeing my brilliance, even before I could see it.
Not only does she hold space and let me come up with my answers to sort through the mess and drama and distill what my next step is...
She's also good at giving me practical solutions.
I'm a big, big fan and I aspire to become my own version of Caroline in that way.
I just love how she intermingles techniques to down regulate my nervous system...
As well as give me practical tips...
I am in awe."
"Caroline's coaching has been instrumental in helping me ditch the overwhelm...
Silvy Codde
Belgium
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